now that im a mom...weird

1.) First off, how was your pregnancy? I am going to be honest, the first 6 months kicked my trash, but after that it wasnt too bad, just uncomfortable.

2.) What week did you deliver? 38 weeks exactly

3.) Describe your labor: Well it was pretty intense. and that is all i am going to say. but honestly everything that i was scared of happening happened, and i survived just fine! I kind of feel like it bring it on when i have my next baby. haha

4.) What was your reaction when you first saw your baby? it was such a surreal moment, i think i said hello a million times, and then i was so happy and content, i loved watching her

5.) How was postpartum? mm i am not going to go into details, but it was healing part was pretty rough and i did get the baby blues at night time for a bit, but besides that it was just fine and this baby girl was so worth it

6.) How is the post baby weight? not a problem, i lost all my muscle from my lack of working out while pregnant, so i think this is the thinnest i have ever been.

7.) Breastfeeding or formula? breastfeeding, but she has had formula and takes it like a champ :)

8.) How were the first couple nights with a newborn? it was pretty hard! just because you are so stinking tired. I think the entire first week i averaged about 3 hours a night, but the hard part was i was so worried! i have this HUGE fear of SIDS so i wouldnt let her sleep in bed with us, which we both didnt like, so she wouldnt sleep and in turn neither would i and then when she would i would stay up and make sure she could breathe. yea i was a little crazy. i have learned to relax a bit though :)

9.) What is one thing you wish you knew that you didn't before having your baby? mm i pretty much was prepared, i have had some great advice from a ton of people. but i would probably just tell myself to relax and not worry so much

10.) Your favorite thing about being a mom? I love how in love i am in with this little girl! I am literally obsessed with her! and all she does is poo, sleep and eat...and looks around. haha but i think she is the greatest thing EVER and the love i have for her is the best feeling in the world.

Ella is one month!

It is insane how much she has grown already! I am excited for when she can sit up and stuff, but i already miss how small she was when she was born. on top of what is on the picture ella also:

-likes to be naked, but hates being cold, which does not work out in the winter time. I think that is why she likes showers so much
-LOVES sleeping with her daddy
-makes the funniest faces when she poos
-will only calm down for her grandma mary
-wakes up every two hours in the night to eat, but on some lucky nights she will let us have 4 hours straight!
-at night time she has to sleep in our bed with us, or she whimpers the whole night. uh oh. (but i love it)
-is becoming more aware everyday
-we have decided that she is a pretty somber baby, she has smiled but a few times and i have been doing the silliest stuff to get her to smile again, but she is just not into it. hopefully she will like it later on because it is the best thing in the world!
her favorite bands/artists include: red hot chili peppers, the police, queen, the mthds, modest mouse, and etta james.


i pretty much think she is the greatest thing in the entire world and i will try and update this more so you will see how great she is too :)

Ella Jane Cray

The Birth Story:

I went to work on December 19th and then came home and (finally) set up our christmas tree, i was having some contractions but nothing regular. After i made our house all holidayish i started hurting pretty bad. Michaels friends were over playing some games and because of this stupid pain in my side i retired to the bedroom, hoping that i was just tired and it would go away when i fell asleep. i was so wrong. After laying in bed until about 4 am i decided to go watch some judge judys and wait it out. unfortunately the pain just got worse and worse on my right flank. i was debating if i should go to the hospital or not, but last time i went it was just because of dehydration so i chugged a bunch of water and waited and waited and nothing. so at about 9:30 michael comes out from our room because my crying woke him up (yea i was pretty much a wreck at this point) so he took me to the hospital and the car ride went something like this (me: drive faster, hurry, oh im gonna puke, michael: ok let me pull over, me: NO DONT SLOW DOWN, JUST HURRY) (i wasnt being very pleasant) so we made it to the hospital and after being asked a million questions from the nurses (who i was also not very pleasant to, sorry ladies) they gave me morphine...ahh sweet relief. pretty much after that it became a total blur because i was straight up on drugs the whole time. I guess they came in and did an ultrasound on me (i was out cold) and they concluded that i had a kidney stone. cool. so they basically just drugged me until they decided what they should do since i was almost 38 weeks. They said that they can either just keep me on drugs until i pass it (but that would be a ton a narcotics for baby cray and my dr thought that wouldnt be best for her) or they can induce me and then figure out what they can do about my kidney stones after the baby was born. so on the 21st of december my dr came in and said they are just going to induce me. (i am still on drugs so i was just happy in general and then i passed out again) i had to tell michael (the hospital made him leave because he had a wicked cold and since we were in the birth center area the nurses told him there were too many babies and he could give it to them.) so after i talked to him he packed our bags (we didnt have ANYTHING together) and came to the hospital to spend our last night together before we were a family of three. i wish i could say that we did something romantic or special, but i was still on morphine for the kidney stone so i dont even remember that night.
7:30 am rolls around on Dec. 22 and my dr comes in and breaks my water, then they gave me an epidural and then they gave me pitocin. I was feeling pretty good, i came in dilated at a 2 1/2 and the contractions werent too bad. and then the epidural decided to stop working on my left side and while they were trying to figure out why it was not working on my left side i went from a 4 to 10 (in about a half hour) which was not fun. and then it was time to push and THANKFULLY the epidural kicked in right when i started to push. oh my heavens if i could give any one person any advise on delivery it is GET AN EPIDURAL. it was totally amazing, i knew when i needed to push and THAT WAS IT! after i delivered i told my anesthesiologist i wanted to kiss her. anyways i pushed for just under an hour and then she came. 5 lbs 13.9 oz. 18 1/4" long and beautiful. We had to stay in the hospital a bit longer than average because little miss ella needed some oxygen and she was borderline dangerous zone with jaundice. but we were able to leave christmas eve and we havent had to be readmitted (thankfully) It is so amazing how much i love this little bean and i am so happy to have her home and healthy. WE ARE SO IN LOVE WITH HER!

a few of my favorite things

well since i cant start decorating the nursery until we move back to california in 2 weeks, i have been collecting ideas and doing all of that mentally. here are some ideas!

here are the paint colors:

i love the gray and white stripes :) (i dont really love the other stuff in the nursery though, mainly just the paint)

i love the idea of doing one big letter like this, not to mention i think this color is adorable:


Here is the bedding that we chose, well that my mom is making. It came in the wrong colors so i am having my mom make it :) the colors we are doing are light pink, light yellow, robin egg blue, and gray and we are nixing the owl. I am so excited to see what it looks like when its done!


and i have found THE greatest diaper bag. its only $59 but its made in paris so the shipping is like $30 :( i dont know if i want to spend that much. my goal is to find something exactly like this or make it :)


and here is a painting i did, i thought it would be cute to frame it but i dont know if i like it enough, or if it will match the colors. i guess we will see!

or maybe this one


i also like this:


and this:


and this:


and this!


ok well these probably wont look good all together, but this is where im headed and as soon as i have pictures of the nursery i will post them. but i am so excited!

even though i am 32 weeks i havent taken that picture yet, so here i am at 30 weeks!

pinterest

if you do not go on pinterest then please stop reading my blog right now and go to it. now. do it. they have the GREATEST ideas.

exhibit A:
Halloween costume
Michaels:

Mine/baby:

family photo:

cute right! and i would have never thought of that! but thanks to pinterest i copied a totally cute costume!

exhibit B:
Thank you/favors for my baby shower

i saw these birds on a thank you card and decided that it would be cute to pair it with cookies for my work baby shower tonight. CUTE RIGHT!

anyways i probably go on it everyday and am so excited to try some other craft ideas that are on there. and its not just crafts! there are recipes and work out routines, home style ideas, workout ideas, outfit ideas, just about everything! i. love. it.

i also love this picture of harvey

the 3rd trimester!!!

I am 28 weeks on thursday and I am so excited to be in my last trimester! even though it is going by quick now, it feels like i have been pregnant forever. i really cant remember what my body looked like before(i consider this a good thing, i might be a little depressed if i remember how small my waist was)
well looking back on pregnancy so far i have decided that i was surprised by a lot of things that i didn't know happened while you are pregnant so i decided to list my good and bad experiences

THE BAD
. i have never been so tired in my life
. throwing up is still not out of the ordinary, and during the first trimester i averaged about 5-10 times a day.
. you have to eat all the time to avoid the nausea , so at this point i am so tired of food. this has never happened to me before in my life and it saddens me a little
. constipation (this one i didnt know about) it is terrible and my anti nausea medication i take makes it worse. there have been many embarrassing situations. ones i will not discuss on here because it involves bowel movements. but i could have done without that humiliation.
. you will get pimply looking bumps on your nips. this is normal and dont try to pop them.
. your body COMPLETELY changes. from the inside out. it literally is like getting an entirely new body. i cant really describe it better than that, but trust me you will know what i mean when you go through it.
. my nips got this weird yellow crusty stuff on them, dont worry if this happens to you, it is totally normal. and your welcome because i just saved you from a google search if this happens to you too
.there are some people who will judge you when they see that you are pregnant. especially if you look like your sixteen (like i do) "your pregnant? oh." "is this your first? GOOD"....awwwkward
. trying to fit into clothes. whenever i have to get dressed in the morning there is a sense of dread that washes over me. my old clothes are so tight but maternity clothes(especially the bottoms) are way frumpy fitting and to be honest they dont fit me very well either.
. big boobs. when this first happened i considered it a good thing, but to be honest i hate having to worry about cleavage and falling out of my shirt. i am SO ready to go back to my nearly A
. your belly. not only does it hurt to have your skin stretch but your insides are so squished that i take about 3 bites of any meal and i am out of room!
. your lower back pain, it makes it impossible to do anything comfortably. even sleep

THE GOOD
. seeing that plus sign on the pregnancy test, in one quick second you completely change your way of thinking and priorities. how often does that happen in life?
. finding out what it is. it's so fun to know that you are having a son or daughter, you can start really preparing, and its so fun to refer to the baby as a "her" or "him" instead of "the baby"
. the special treatment. example: i went to a wedding and was starving and they weren't serving food yet, but they let me get my plate before it was time to eat (even before the bride and groom) because i was pregnant. awesome.
. the smiles strangers will give you when they ask when the due date is
. the advice that all woman who have had children feel the need to give. most people find it annoying but i love it. i think its great they care enough to tell me about their experiences, not to mention i can bond with this total stranger that i otherwise wouldn't have
. you get a free pass to get out of just about anything...since i have been pregnant i have not done one full load of laundry, vacuumed, and can count on one hand how many times i have done the dishes. i am just one of the lucky ladies who has a husband that steps up and does everything just so i can rest and then offers to give me a foot rub when he is done cleaning. i picked a good one. i know this wont last forever and have every intention of doing my share of the work after she comes out, but for now i am going to enjoy the break.
. feeling the baby move. words cant even describe.
. seeing my husbands face light up when he first felt her (he still gets excited to feel her kick, she isnt even out yet and she already has him wrapped around her finger)
. the daydreaming. pretty much whenever i have a second to myself i try and guess what she is going to look like, what stories she will like to read, what christmas is going to be like, how fun bath time is going to be...i can go on and on
. guessing what kind of parents michael and i are going to be. We observe other parents in public situations and talk to each other about how we will handle that situation, or what we would have done differently. it is so fun and i think it brings us closer together :)


all in all this is that hardest thing i have ever had to do but i already feel like it is worth it. i also know that some people don't really have symptoms and pregnancy is a breeze, i dont really like to acknowledge or talk to those people (juuuuust kidding) but if i scared you just remember you might be one of the rare ones that has a great experience. either way you are going to be darn lucky because in the end you will get this tiny bundle that is going to mean the world to you.

**26 weeks**

24 weeks

Even though this picture says 5 months i would like everybody to know that i am actually 6 months thank you very much and i love it:)...well love that i am almost done (pregnancy is A LOT harder than i would have ever imagined) at this point in the pregnancy there arent any exciting new developments besides my growing belly! but at 28 weeks we are going to have a 3d ultrasound so that will be fun and i cant wait.
so far baby girl cray:

- not even close to a name..we actually just stopped talking about it for a while, and hopefully one will just POP out at us

- she kicks me ALL the time :) i love it when she does a big strong one and it makes my whole belly move

- i did break 120 lbs but that is far from the first time in my life. haha

- taking baths have been my saving grace for this backpain. baby cray likes them too :) i put on some jams and just soak and sing to her, she digs it :)

- a stranger rubbed my belly for the first time. haha i was not upset and it didnt bother me but when she first did it i just looked at her hand like "uh why is your hand all over my belly?"
the really funny thing was she was rubbing my belly as she was asking if i was pregnant. how awkward would that have been if i wasnt!?

- my belly button used to look like "o" but now it looks like "-" (michael finds this hilarious)

and that is about it!
**23 weeks**



**24 weeks**