get over it

sometimes I will look at pictures of others and I feel bad about myself. like "dang her hair is perfect, why isnt mine perfect? I suck at being a girl" and then I pause and I realize that that person probably spent a good 1 hour - 1 1/2 hours just on their hair alone and then I picture myself sleeping in my warm, big, comfy bed for that extra hour...and I get over it.

yesssssss

sometimes I look at a girls face and think "dang her makeup is amazing, why cant my makeup look that amazing" and then i realize that her makeup is probably hundreds of dollars, maybe not at once, but accumulated, and then i picture all that scrapbooking paper i could buy... and i get over it.


sometimes i see posts of flowers that the boyfriend sent and i think "dang i wish michael sent me flowers" and then i realize he does and even when he doesn't he does some other sweet things like clean out ellas diaper genie or warm the car up for me...and i get over it

sometimes i look at skinny girls, and i think "dang i want to be that skinny" and then i realize that those girls (for the most part) rarely eat dessert, or chocolate, or bread and then i try to picture my life without dessert, or chocolate, or bread..and i literally cant...so i get over it

take that!


sometimes i see the houses people own and i think "dang i would like a house" and then i realize that i will have one someday and then i picture myself graduating from college... and i get over it.

sometimes i see really really cute clothes and i think "dang i wish i had money so i could show people how cute my style is" and then i realize that the world is simply unfair...and i trrry to get over it...but it is hard because i like cute clothes

one day!


sometimes i look at the success of some of my acquaintances and i think "dang why cant i be that successful" or "why didnt i do that" and then i realize that most of those people had the time and probably didnt have a job and then i picture me working, and going to school, and doing homework, and taking care of ella, and teaching sunday school, and leading study groups, and trying to clean the house, and being a wife...and then i realize that i am successful...and i get over it

the moral of the story is that sometimes i am really envious of some other peoples lives and then i realize that i might not have money or a house or great hair or perfect makeup. but for the most part i feel pretty good about myself and i need to realize that i am sacrificing now so that i can have a better future. and even though i would love to be a mom that can stay at home with her babies and worry about decorations or do hobbies i just cant do that right now. and then i realize that getting an education will give me options, will be a good example for ella, and will give me a better life...and i get over it :)

i love you like a circle

this last week I found out that my cousin, Ryan, was killed in Afghanistan. I flew out to North Carolina with my family for the funeral and viewing. It was an absolutely beautiful service. I loved that his wife (kayla) did a tribute to him during the funeral and pretty much just told a ton of hilarious stories. It was so great that even though it is a heart-breaking experience there was so much laughter and joy. It was so special that at his funeral we were all reminded of his light hearted attitude and sense of humor. What a wonderful way to be remembered. It was truly a celebration of his life.

Kayla would sometimes blog about their life and I loved reading them because they were always funny and happy. Here is a little example of her blog (i hope she doesnt mind) and her tribute was just filled with stories like this. I loved it and I am sure he did also.


Another R talking in his sleep story:
R is asleep in bed. I climb in next to him and toss an extra pillow to the other side of him. He stirs slightly and then mumbles "I like your handbag". I giggled and said "what?!" just to clarify what I heard. He repeats himself. I say, "Boo, that was a pillow". He barely opens his eyes, enough to realize he was talking in his sleep and then says, "Oh no, I was just dreaming about bags". Hahahahaha!!! I guess it's true! Soul mates do exist and looks like I found mine!
And last but not least, R just described a pair of HIS shoes to me as a "wedge"! Idk if I'm more embarrassed that he even knows what wedges are or that he owns a pair of shoes that can be called wedges! Either way, let's never let him live this down, please!
Oh em geeeee, I love that man to pieces! He makes me laugh so much, even if it is at his own expense! :)


I remember one time a few years ago our whole family was playing cards and Kayla (ryans wife) said something silly like "can hot water burn you" and the whole table laughed, and then she thought about it for a second and said "oh that was stupid" and Ryan laughed and said "not stupid, just not well thought out." Wow. How great is it that Ryan respected Kayla so much that he wouldnt call her or what she did stupid. I was so taken aback by that. It has always made an impression on me and that is just one example of the type of man Ryan was. He was truly an amazing human being and will be severely missed. But I know that we will see him again, and that Kayla and Ryan will be together again.
While I was at their house there were love notes all over the walls and fridge. Little post-its everywhere filled with love and encouragement to each other. It was beautiful and heart warming. I have only seem them together as a married couple a few times, but when i walked into their home i felt and saw their love. how beautiful that they take the time to make the other feel important. how wonderful that they leave them up wherever they are put, not embarrassed by their display of love and affection. They are such a great example to me of how I should treat my spouse and loved ones. I hope that from now on my home is like their home. The title of this post is probably the most common one I saw "i love you like a circle that never ends."

I know that sometimes we lose sight of whats important for multiple reasons and we forget to show appreciation for the loved ones in our lives. Ryan will always be remember and loved and will live on in our hearts as well as an inspiration for how I should live my life.

Last but not least i just want to show my appreciation for those serving in the military. Thank you for your selflessness and service. You are all loved and in my prayers.



"My dear sweet R. He made me laugh every single day. He is a hero. He is a warrior. His life was short but he lived such a purposeful, meaningful life. I am so grateful to have spent 8 1/2 years of my life loving him. He taught me so much. He is the most kind, generous, compassionate, SELFLESS person I have ever known. He lives in my heart. He will ALWAYS live in my heart. I love you like a circle boo bear.
Love, Your Wifffffffffff"

Ella is 9 months old

well, she was on the 22 of sept, but I am running a little bit behind schedule. oh well :)

at 9 months ella:

- weighs 17.3 lbs (25%)
- is 27.5" long (24%)
- LOVES to crawl, especially when she narrows in on something she isnt supposed to have (dog food, lamp, wires) she loves them all
- said her first real word. NOT KIDDING. its Doggie. That is her first word, I am feeling a little gypped her because i was going for Mama, but thats ok :) I have a video of it and i will post it soon!
- Grandma Mary and Michael swears up and down that she says "sweet" and "nice" but I havent heard it yet :( I was in class when it happened
- sleeps through the night (YESSSSSS)
- is SO smart (i might be a little biased) but when we play pattycake she "pats" and "rolls" and "marks it with a B" It is so cute to see her little pointer finger drawing on her other hand!
- is becoming more and more independent. it is a rare thing when she will just sit on my lap and play, she just wants to get down and play!
- loves being read to, but gets bored if its a wordy book, so we keep it simple. she also loves to turn the pages in the book
- dances! when music is playing she starts bouncing up and down on her bum!
-loves to sleep in her crib, when we dont have the crib we have to use the exercise ball to get her to sleep and she always has to have a stuffed animal with her
-loves bathtime
- is so fun, i love to play with her and she gets such a kick when we crawl around with her on the floor :)

I love her more and more every second!

Apple Hill

So last Saturday my parents wanted to take us to Apple Hill and considering we live about 20 minutes away, it was perfect! We stopped at High Hill and the weather was just beautiful!





she is OBSESSED with her Aunt Hannah!


It was a battle to keep those boots on, BUT I LOVE THEM




We stopped at this yummy mexican food place on the way home, she loved it! and her cheerios





she had a long day :)