i love you like a circle

this last week I found out that my cousin, Ryan, was killed in Afghanistan. I flew out to North Carolina with my family for the funeral and viewing. It was an absolutely beautiful service. I loved that his wife (kayla) did a tribute to him during the funeral and pretty much just told a ton of hilarious stories. It was so great that even though it is a heart-breaking experience there was so much laughter and joy. It was so special that at his funeral we were all reminded of his light hearted attitude and sense of humor. What a wonderful way to be remembered. It was truly a celebration of his life.

Kayla would sometimes blog about their life and I loved reading them because they were always funny and happy. Here is a little example of her blog (i hope she doesnt mind) and her tribute was just filled with stories like this. I loved it and I am sure he did also.


Another R talking in his sleep story:
R is asleep in bed. I climb in next to him and toss an extra pillow to the other side of him. He stirs slightly and then mumbles "I like your handbag". I giggled and said "what?!" just to clarify what I heard. He repeats himself. I say, "Boo, that was a pillow". He barely opens his eyes, enough to realize he was talking in his sleep and then says, "Oh no, I was just dreaming about bags". Hahahahaha!!! I guess it's true! Soul mates do exist and looks like I found mine!
And last but not least, R just described a pair of HIS shoes to me as a "wedge"! Idk if I'm more embarrassed that he even knows what wedges are or that he owns a pair of shoes that can be called wedges! Either way, let's never let him live this down, please!
Oh em geeeee, I love that man to pieces! He makes me laugh so much, even if it is at his own expense! :)


I remember one time a few years ago our whole family was playing cards and Kayla (ryans wife) said something silly like "can hot water burn you" and the whole table laughed, and then she thought about it for a second and said "oh that was stupid" and Ryan laughed and said "not stupid, just not well thought out." Wow. How great is it that Ryan respected Kayla so much that he wouldnt call her or what she did stupid. I was so taken aback by that. It has always made an impression on me and that is just one example of the type of man Ryan was. He was truly an amazing human being and will be severely missed. But I know that we will see him again, and that Kayla and Ryan will be together again.
While I was at their house there were love notes all over the walls and fridge. Little post-its everywhere filled with love and encouragement to each other. It was beautiful and heart warming. I have only seem them together as a married couple a few times, but when i walked into their home i felt and saw their love. how beautiful that they take the time to make the other feel important. how wonderful that they leave them up wherever they are put, not embarrassed by their display of love and affection. They are such a great example to me of how I should treat my spouse and loved ones. I hope that from now on my home is like their home. The title of this post is probably the most common one I saw "i love you like a circle that never ends."

I know that sometimes we lose sight of whats important for multiple reasons and we forget to show appreciation for the loved ones in our lives. Ryan will always be remember and loved and will live on in our hearts as well as an inspiration for how I should live my life.

Last but not least i just want to show my appreciation for those serving in the military. Thank you for your selflessness and service. You are all loved and in my prayers.



"My dear sweet R. He made me laugh every single day. He is a hero. He is a warrior. His life was short but he lived such a purposeful, meaningful life. I am so grateful to have spent 8 1/2 years of my life loving him. He taught me so much. He is the most kind, generous, compassionate, SELFLESS person I have ever known. He lives in my heart. He will ALWAYS live in my heart. I love you like a circle boo bear.
Love, Your Wifffffffffff"