the truth about having a baby

Since i was pretty honest about pregnancy i thought i would be honest about having a baby. I know that in all of my posts that i say how much i love being a mom and how much i love this baby and that is 100% true. but dang is it hard. especially in the beginning, so here are a few things that i had to learn and hopefully you can benefit from reading.

1: be prepared 3 weeks before your due date. Michael and I didnt have any bags packed and it was pretty stressful trying to tell michael what needs to be in the hospital bag, diaper bag, and toiletries bag while i was strung out on morphine. well i wasnt really stressed because i was strung out on morphine, but ya know.
2: Realize that just because a baby is sleeping, that doesnt mean she will die. I would not sleep in the hospital unless someone was holding Ella.I had this irrational fear with SIDS. This did not work out at night time, when family went home and michael was sleeping on the couch, because then it was up to me to watch her! so i would not sleep at night and was therefore exhausted all day.
3: Right after you have the baby ask for pain medicine (as much as they will give you) and stool softener. you're welcome.
4: Sleep when the baby sleeps, I remember when i was pregnant i was almost irritated when people told me this. I thought "duh, of course i will sleep when she sleeps at night" and then i had a baby and i realized that they meant at any time during the day. After I had her i felt that while she napped during the day that i should clean and shower and eat and all that jazz that you do before you have a baby. I was averaging 3 hours of sleep a night, and that wasnt a 3 hour chunk, that was a half hour here or 45 minutes there. not fun. I had to learn that I wasnt lazy if i slept while she did, i was keeping myself mentally healthy.
5. Accept the fact that you are going to be an emotional wreck for at least 2 weeks and you WILL get the baby blues. I thought i was hormonal while i was pregnant, but holy cow, i was nutso right after i had her. Night time was the hardest for me. Since i had this irrational fear with SIDS, I wouldnt sleep at night because i wanted to make sure she was breathing, then I wouldnt sleep during the day because i was doing other stuff, and then you combine that with crazy hormones and that equals a mess. I remember she was about 6 days old, we were at michaels parents house (we go there every night because they are kind enough to feed us) and it was time to go home, and i started sobbing. Like loud ugly crying sobbing.I sobbed before we left, i sobbed all the way home, and i sobbed for about another hour after we got home. I dreaded night time, it was just so stressful. Thankfully michael stayed up with her that night, so i was able to get some much needed sleep.
6: your husband, boyfriend, partner, or whatever, will NOT understand this emotional roller-coaster thing. Don't be mad at them, and realize that we are being a little crazy. The night I had my sobbing "breakdown" Michael didnt even know how to react and he didn't understand what the problem was. I remember my very sweet husband asked as nicely as he could if i liked being a mom and if i loved ella (I really was crying that hard.) He didnt understand that it was because of my love for ella that i was having such a hard time, that i was so worried about her at night that the thought of anything happening to her broke my heart and literally brought tears to my eyes. Him asking me this of course made me cry even harder because i then thought "oh my gosh he doesnt think i love my little baby" so i had to explain to him (in-between eye wiping and hiccups) that my hormones are crazy and i was just worried about her. That's when he decided that i needed an emotional break from being a mom and took ella in the other room while i slept.
7: Take a break. Even though it was hard to leave her (and it still is) it was great for me and michael to go to the grocery store or to lunch. We were able to clear our heads and it gave me a reason to wear actual clothes and actually put on make up, which sometimes, is just what a girl needs to feel good about herself.
8: Write down everything. As i am putting her scrapbook together I am so grateful that i journaled regularly. I know what day i found out i was pregnant and what the date was when we knew it was a girl and what we did. Since she has been born I have only written in my journal once, and now i am kicking myself because i know there are so many things i thought were so cute and great, but i didnt keep track and now i dont remember most of them! so now i keep notes on my phone whenever i want to write down something i think is adorable.

This is all i can think of for now...for any moms that are reading this you are welcome to add some of your own struggles! but for those who arent moms yet, just know that the love you experience when you have your baby, and how it just grows every second of every day, is totally worth it.